I took a longer time than usual to do my new year resolutions this year.
That’s because 2015 was an incredibly long, slow and strange year, I can’t put any words to describe it.
I wouldn’t say 2015 was a bad year for me, I had my ups towards the end. But the several big set backs to start off the year, these made me question my career choices to the point I wanted to call it quits . I remembered that uncomfortable feeling when I self-confessed that I have lost my direction. Managing a start-up was never easy, and looking at how far your peers have moved ahead in terms of their financial capabilities really makes you question your life choices. It’s a lonely ride, when the partners I’ve had so much fun with at the beginning somehow never seem to ask me out anymore, and when the new partner I’m working with don’t seem to be helping much. I not only questioned my choices, I also questioned my character, my conduct, my priorities, my future.
But I know I can’t just let go what I have painstakingly built over 4 years. I know very well that perseverance is one of the key factors to success.
Feb 2015 – Bangkok Night
May 2015 – Night dancing in Shanghai The Bund
I left again for a couple of solo trips. To quieten down, to mix with new people and to perhaps, find new perspectives. Ever since I tasted my first solo travel experience in Tokyo back in May 2014, I’ve fallen in love with the absolute sense of liberty and inner peace. Not many knew, but when I booked the tickets 3 days before the flight, my eyes were red and my cheeks were salty. For the rest of the 3 days and through the trip, I was listening to Divergent soundtrack, Ellie Goulding’s Beating Heart. On hindsight, the slide downhill probably started since then.
A few life changing events happened in 2015.
I got the keys to my new house, and I got married. It was a simple church wedding. Not exactly the way I had wanted – I wanted everyone to be there – friends, partners, everyone else whom I’ve known. Not only to witness my marriage, but also to use the chance to bring everyone to the house of my Lord. I wanted to be able to host them and have lunch that lasted till tea time, and then maybe have some tea. But alas, I guess you can’t have everything the way you wanted, even if it’s your own wedding. I tried to make the best out of it and not to think too much about it, least it becomes a life regret.
The ups? I’ve travelled a lot in 2015, part for business, part to escape. In fact I was overseas almost a quarter of the year! This forces me to slow down my pace, to look around and to figure out what I really missed back in Singapore when I was away. If I was missing anything badly, it should be something that I was really happy doing right? I’ve ventured deeply into new arenas, gained new knowledge and became more committed to my creative and blogging works. I’ve learnt to be selective, to pick my fights well and to be more protective of my time & values.
Now, I just want to be happy.
While, Im not as enthusiastic as the previous years to work on my 2016 resolutions, I’m motivated by Aggy‘s post to just keep working on it and keep moving forward.
1) Learn to let go and receive help.
I tend to do everything myself. I even had a colleague (whom I really tried to keep), cited ‘I don’t seem to be helping around much’ as her reason for departure. Hits me at the right chords. I’m now trying to delegate, delegate, delegate. For colleagues who are reading this, please give me some time, but don’t forget to remind me 🙂
2) Be grounded and pick up momentum.
All the travelling have really slowed me down. It’s time to pick up my dreams where I left off and just keep moving forward. I shouldn’t expect anyone to stay with me through the journey, neither should I slow down for anyone. Perhaps only when I’ve picked myself up, I’ll inspire my close one to follow and move forward as well.
3) Spend more time with those whom I should cherish.
I was never a family type of person. I would honestly rather be all alone then spend time with my family members. At the same time, I know I will regret my conduct if anyone of them were to suddenly depart one day. I hope that besides family meals, I’ll have the ability to bring all of them on a holiday together again. Can’t remember the last time we went on a holiday together.
Shawn and I will be working very closely together this year. He has started blogging from a Homme point of view on this space and is managing the Instagram account @FlyingPistachios. I really do hope we can sustain this delicate relationship and partnership… it’s going to be tough, there will be times we’ll think of quitting… but let us remind each other everyday that nothing beats being together. Just being together.
4) Be committed
I have a few plans that I had began laying out since Dec 2015, and I hope that I’ll be able to stay committed and see through these plans. To my clients and sponsors, thank you very much for all the love and appreciation that you have given me. I do feel extremely humbled and privileged to be given the opportunity to work with all of you! To my followers, blogger friends and best friends (you know who you are), thank you a million times to the moon and back. Honestly, you guys are the ones who made 2015 better for me and I can’t thank you all enough for your love and support. I hope to be able to bring everyone more, better and consistent content so here’s announcing my commitment 😛
Blog – 1 blog post every Wednesday here on www.FlyingPistachios.com .
5) Trust in the Lord & Be Happy
So simple yet so hard. I guess this is going to be a lifelong endeavour, to not be too hard on myself, to take bad choices that I have made in the past in my stride and to accept the imperfections in life. To remember that everything that happened, happened for a good reason. To remember that Happiness is a matter of choice.
But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. 1 Peter 5:10King James Version (KJV)